I’m sorry that it didn’t go as planned. And while I’m at it, I’m sorry that so many things that you asked from me didn’t go as you had requested. 

Go on, get mad at me. Go on and cry loudly into your pillow and swim deeper into your loneliness. Feel how the pain leaves you breathless and how it could stop your heart from beating. Pity all the injustices that have happened to you despite your best efforts. Cry out all the anger and sadness that you’ve been hoarding inside of you. 

Go on, get mad at me. The least I can say is that I am here as your punching bag. And right now, the most I can say is that you are heard. I am not ignoring you, every word is being scared into me like a brand is burnt onto a tamed horse. I am hearing you, I am listening to you, and I am understanding your every word. 

No, no, don’t you dare hold back! Tell me every way I’ve done things wrong. Tell me how badly I screwed up, and how much of your future was riding on my doing what you asked me to do. 

Yes, that’s it, keep going. I know there are more tears inside of you. Tears of anger, of pain, of betrayal. Tears of absolute disbelief and disappointment in my capabilities. Tears of renunciation that nothing can ever be good again or hopeful again. 

Watch as every word you say weighs on my back, sinking me a little bit deeper into the ground. And now that there is no way for me to ever get rid of those words. 

Good, you’ve got it all out. Thank you. I need you to know that I do not love you any less. Despite your angry words, there is nothing you can do that can make me love you any less, as there is nothing you can do to make me love you more. 

Whenever you feel like you need to understand why this thing happened to you, I will be waiting for you. Without hurry, without judgement, without trying to change your mind. I will be waiting for me. All you have to do is listen. 

But can I leave you with these last words? 

I want you to know that I’m handling it. I’ve heard people speak about my plans, saying that I work in mysterious ways. It really isn’t quite as mysterious as people would like to think. In fact, it is quite simple. 

I don’t expect you to understand now. Actually, things will only start making sense once they start looking up for you. Somewhere in the stars, sometime in your future, the pieces will start coming together. And everything that you never got will start making sense. 

You see, I exist in as many forms as there are living creatures on this planet. Each person carries me with them, without really even knowing it. Wherever they go, I’m there. Even the people who have lost themselves can look around and follow me as a guiding light. 

And all I do is listen to them, as I do with you. At any time of the day, under any circumstance, I hear all prayers. They all come in different forms: sometimes people bow before me and speak to me for hours, whereas others hug me tight during the night, whispering things into my plush ear. 

Do you understand, dear? I am one big mailbox for all the desires of the world, for every single person. And I make them happen. I coordinate all the desires and hopes of every single living thing, and I try my best to make them happen.

So I am sorry that you felt neglected when I didn’t make your thing happen. You see, someone else needed that to happen for them just a little bit more, I hope you can understand that. Take comfort in the fact that I share the pain with you, as I share the pain of every other person who hasn’t gotten their way. 

I think you’ll find it hopeful to know that I live by one very strict philosophy: what you don’t get today, you’ll get in better tomorrow. And I can guarantee that I’ve never once in my long existence failed to follow it. 

And let me let you in on one last secret. Most times, I don’t fail at getting people’s desires to come true, I simply refuse them from happening altogether because. Oh, because, my dear, I know I can do better. 

I am always on your side. I know you cannot see me, and sometimes my intentions are clouded, but you have no reason to doubt me. I have been and always will be on your team. The best is yet to come. 

xx Universe