How to not feel embarrassed at the gym will always be a process that takes time and dedication. But at least now, you’ll know how to handle it and why it happens.
No matter what your goal is or where in your fitness journey you are, odds are that you are feeling a little gym fear as you step into the gym for the first few times.
I cannot insist enough on how much I felt it when I first started.
Not only did I start without having a single idea about what the HECK to do at the gym, but I was also overweight and feeling incredibly self-conscious. You know the drill.
No matter how many people told me that “no one cares, no one is looking at you”, I couldn’t get it out of my mind that indeed everyone cared and everyone was staring. No amount of “people are there to work on themselves” made it any better.
However, though I’ve come a long way from that time, I still remember the feeling.
So here I’ve compiled some ideas that I believe I would have liked to hear when I was in that position of feeling embarrassed at the gym. I don’t think you would have read them elsewhere.
So here goes: this blog post is all about how to not feel embarrassed at the gym… with advice coming from a former embarrassed-at-the-gym person.
HOW TO NOT BE EMBARRASSED AT THE GYM
... if you feel like you aren't knowledgeable enough
Remember the feeling of sitting through an exam you studied nothing for? You just sat at your desk staring at a blank page, while everyone around scribbled furiously at their pages.
Well, that’s the closest I can describe the feeling of going to the gym for the first time. I had no idea where to start.
Not knowing what’s in front of you can make you quite anxious. Why are people scared of the dark? Because they don’t know what’s around them.
Not knowing is anxiety-provoking in and of itself. It’s normal.
So how do you get more knowledgeable? Well, it’s simple really. By doing things that allow you to increase your knowledge.
Go to the gym at times when no one goes
Having people around might heighten the fear of not knowing. So why not go when there’s no one there to see?
Get a subscription at a 24hr gym.
Generally, the time of day when gyms get EMPTY is after 11 PM. How do I know this? Well, I’ve gone to the gym at all hours of the day. There was a period where I only went at 1 AM (yes, 1 AM, not 1 PM).
These are other times when it gets quieter, though you’ll still cross a few people:
- Right after 8 AM – the morning crowd left to go to work
- Between 2 PM and 4 PM – people who go to the gym during their lunch break are gone
- Anytime after 9 PM – gyms tend to get quiet as this time
- Ask your local gym what the quietest hours are!
Hire a personal trainer
If you don’t know what you’re doing, then hire someone who does!
Personal trainers are there for people exactly like you. Can you imagine getting in a car accident and refusing to see a doctor? Well, the parallel is the same.
This is the most straightforward way to get familiar with the gym. You can’t be scared of looking dumb because they’ll be someone there to correct you.
You’ll gain direct knowledge from them, so when you decide to go to the gym alone, you’ll have a guideline. I really believe that getting a personal trainer, even if it’s only one or two hours, is a massive jump start.
How does this increase your knowledge? It’s quite self-explanatory: you have a teacher right there telling you everything you need to know!
Also, be sure to read my article on the red flags to look out for when working with a personal trainer!
Watch Youtube videos and practice the movements at home
When I first started going to the gym, I would schedule the exact exercises I wanted to do at the gym.
Was it a good plan? Probably not when I first started. But it was a plan.
Before going, I would watch Youtube videos of all the exercises I scheduled and try to replicate them at home. At least I didn’t have to do them for the very first time in a gym full of people.
Also, be sure to save the Youtube videos that explained them really well, that way you can go back to them in the future. Actually, I kept a notes file with all the Youtube links so I could easily access them if ever I forgot during a workout.
How does this increase your knowledge? Practice makes perfect. Youtube is an amazing teacher for the gym and you can gain a whole lot of tips and tricks from it.
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... if you feel like you don't fit in
You might feel like an alien when first walking into the gym. That’s normal. It kinda feels like they’re part of some super secret dance-naked-in-your-underwear In Omnia Paratus club.
And it feels like you’re on the outside looking in.
Go with a friend
Have you ever done something totally embarrassing or ridiculous but been able to laugh it off because you were with a friend?
Well, why not apply the same at the gym? Odds are that your friend doesn’t know anything either. And if they do, then score! They can show you things you didn’t know.
Things always feel less stressful with a friend. In the case that both of you really don’t know what to do, well at least you’re in it together. And if it works out well, then you just found yourself a workout buddy.
How does this help you fit in? Well, two is a crowd. You’ll always fit in if you have your friend around.
Plan workouts where you don't need to move around the gym
Have you ever heard of dumbbell-only workouts? It’s nothing special- it’s an entire workout done only using dumbbells.
I used these quite a bit at the beginning because I could pick a spot in the gym that was pretty secluded, and I would just do my entire workout there. No need to be looking around for specific machines or be around slamming weights.
How does this help you fit in? Everyone at the gym is there to work out, and that’s exactly what you’re doing but in a more comfortable setting for you. You couldn’t be more on point here.
Attend group classes
There’s nothing like being in a room full of people who don’t know what they are doing to finally get you doing things.
Group classes – whether it’s Tabata, cross fit or Latin dance – are a great way to get you familiar with the gym and make you a little less scared of your surroundings.
How does this help you fit in? It’s pretty straightforward. You’re literally doing what everyone else is doing all the while familiarizing yourself with the faces and the equipment.
If all else fails, just walk on a cardio machine
This goes in line with what I was saying above.
You know how when cats walk into a new house, they run around the house to scout out the new surroundings? Well, you’re going to do that but from a single spot.
If you’re lucky enough, your gym will be set up in a way that you can see the entire gym from the cardio machines. If that’s the case, then just hop onto the treadmill or whichever other cardio machine and just look.
Get familiar with where the machines are, and what the machines are for. Look at what people do at each machine. Just get familiar until you feel comfortable enough to walk out there and actually try the machines for yourself.
How does this help you fit in? Well, you’ll know where everything is. You’ll actually know the layout of the gym. Knowledge of the gym brings people closer, I can guarantee you that.
Like how Simba does when he’s on Pride Rock. That’s the vibe.
... if you compare yourself to others
This one is really hard. Because it isn’t only in the gym where we tend to compare ourselves with others. So it’s hard to correct a behaviour you have if goes beyond just the gym.
To be fully honest, sometimes I still do that today. So this one isn’t easy.
But here are a few things that I do that help me ground myself whenever I spiral too much.
Know that they have started exactly where you have
Everyone has had a first day at the gym. Everyone has feared the gym at some point. Everyone has compared themselves to others.
Everyone, every single person there, has once gone through what you are going through. No matter what your goal is, you will find at least 5 people to have gone through the same exact thing as you and have made it to the other side.
You aren’t far away from that. Just a few more days at the gym and you’ll feel good. I promise.
How will this help if you compare yourself? Things feel a little less embarrassing if you know that others have been through it too. And encouraging because you know you can make it too.
Form is so much more impressive than weight
Generally, people tend to compare the amount of weight someone else can lift or the physique that other people have. Sure, big weight is impressive. And sure, that chick with the massive ass and flat stomach makes straight girls question themselves.
But let me tell you what’s actually impressive: your form. I know that sounds so weird, but the only thing you can do to embarrass yourself is ego-lifting.
Form is so complex at the gym, it takes people a long time to perfect it. Proper form is so much more admirable than anything else.
So if you wanna compare yourself to others, at least do it against people who have proper form.
How will this help if you compare yourself to others? It’ll set realistic expectations for you. Generally, the one who hits proper form isn’t the one who lifts the heaviest.
Go to the gym with a plan to keep the focus on yourself
Do you know the feeling of being so completely involved in your own things that you don’t notice what’s going on around you? That happens to me when I read, for example. I could be sitting in a library full of people, and have no idea who comes in or out, or how quickly time passes.
Set yourself up to be in that situation as well.
Go to the gym with a gym plan that is scheduled out. Do your thing, hit your weights, and do your reps. Keep your head down and then leave.
Literally, don’t even allow yourself to look at others. Hasn’t your mom ever told you that staring is bad?
How does this help if you compare yourself to others? Well, comparing means that you see what others do. If you’re too involved in your things, you won’t have time to see what others are doing.
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... if you think that people are staring at you
This is probably one of the most common fear among new gym-goers.
And like I said above, no amount of “people don’t care, they aren’t looking at you. They are too busy looking at themselves” has ever helped me deal with this.
I know how intimidating of a feeling it can be to think that all eyes are on you. As if people are waiting to laugh the moment that you fail at something.
Here’s what helped me.
You need to know that you aren't the first of your kind
I’m going to say something that might sound mean and condescending, but I’m trying to make a point so bear with me.
Do you think that you’re the first person to walk into the gym feeling like they have a few extra pounds? Or, do you really think that you’re the first person to walk in that doesn’t know how to squat properly? Better yet, do you really think that you’re the first to walk in that has never been to a gym before?
My point with this is that you’re not. You’re not the first one. People have seen the likes of you come into the gym a million times. Do you know how many new people go to the gym? Do you know how many members there are in a gym? Thousands.
People are bored of seeing people at the gym. They are uninterested in your because they’ve seen you or people like you a million times.
You’re like a book in a huge library: no one can if you’re a new addition or have been there forever. They get lost between one another because they all look the same.
Person talking to themselves in the street comparison
Have you ever been walking around and seen someone talk to themselves? Or someone in a really really weird outfit? Or someone that just clearly sticks out like a sore thumb in society?
I bet you noticed them. You might have sneered at them or made a face or maybe even laughed a bit.
Now I challenge you to tell me every single time that happened to you. You can’t tell me, right? Right. Because probably 1 minute after that happened, you were onto the next thing. Because you have better things to do in your life.
So even if you think that people to stare at you or laugh at you, they have better things to do with their life. They might have their 1.3 seconds of judgement, but then it’s onto the next. They won’t remember you.
The 3 H's: hats, headphones and hoodies
If all else fails, then don’t let yourself be seen properly.
Darlin’, put on a cap, and put on big headphones and blast your music. Put on a big hoodie so you don’t feel like you have to suck in anything.
This is the ultimate comfort. Just doing your thing.
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No matter what, you need to be doing these to not be embarrassed at the gym
I’ve just given you the tips and tricks I’ve used when I was embarrassed at the gym. But none of that would have worked out if I didn’t consistently do the following 3 things.
1. You need to keep showing up
Nothing will be more comfortable if you stop going. The routine of showing up and getting ever-more familiar with your gym is the key for how to not be embarrassed at the gym.
Without that, then all other techniques are useless.
You need to keep showing up. Greatness is right on the other side of pain.
2. You need to have it crystal clear why you started going
You need to be able to put into crystal clear words what brought you to the gym.
Why did you start? What made you so uncomfortable in your current life that brought you to the decision to put yourself in an atmosphere that scared you.
You know that going to the gym scared you, but you did it anyways and you’re kicking ass for that. So there must be something greater than the fear that motivated you. What is it?
That discomfort is trying to move you from where you are now to where you belong. Identify it, put it into words.
3. And have a constant reminder of that reason
Once you’ve found your reason why, have constant reminders of it.
If it’s a physique goal, then have posters of your idols above your bed and wake up looking at them.
If it’s about discipline, then print out a schedule and carry it around with you everywhere.
Do not let yourself create distance between you and your goal. Keep it close to you, always.
I hope this has given you useful tips and tricks on how to get over your gym fear. I want you to know that it’s already a massive step to deciding to join in the first place. You’ve already done half of the work.
This blog post was all about the best ways on how to not be embarrassed at the gym.
xx LS
